Pre-IHG Jitters

Posted in Uncategorized on February 5, 2014 by Michelle Kwek

Too often these days do I feel my heart racing for that 5s. I guess it is the pre-IHG jitters? It is not as if IHG hasn’t started for me.. I’ve played handball and frisbee.. couldn’t play netball and played my first squash match just yesterday.

Talking about squash, I don’t know what to feel. For sure KE squash girls are more capable than what we displayed yesterday, and it pains me more when I know how confident Denis is of us to win it, proudly sharing with other KEVIIans he talked to. It is so easy to blame the line up (because we drew lots again this year) after the results are out but come on, calm down and look at it rationally. When the line up came out, I was confident that 4 of our 5 players would win their matches based on their usual performance during training. So don’t blame the line up for goodness sake. Disappointment was what I felt I guess, with the team, with myself. Cannot really describe how heavy my heart felt yesterday. Sad and scared. Scared because it was an upset, upset of a team I had much confidence in. Scared that this will happen on 15 feb.

And the stress that builds up as 15 Feb draws near is beyond what I had imagined. This stress is unparalleled. Nothing compares to it. Even my wisdom tooth is popping out at a crazy speed:/

KE TRUG has trained far too hard, sweat far too much, “lost” far too many. Failure is not an option, losing is out of question.

The worry of not being able to deliver, that I may disappoint my team, will NOT hold me back. Too much have I sacrifice to settle for anything less than our goal.

I will write THE STORY OF MY LIFE on 15TH FEB. Come down and lend KE your support!:)

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!:)

Posted in Uncategorized on January 14, 2014 by Michelle Kwek

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Thanks for making the past year the best year of my life. Always being there for me, supporting me in every big and little way possible. Without you, I could not possibly have taken up the commitments that I have. More often then not, being the stubborn me, I fail to heed your advice (just like yesterday’s handball match:/ could have prevented to injury), yes you will nag out of concern but you never complain when you have to bear the consequences of my stubborness. When I can no longer find strength to carry out my duties, you were always there to give me strength, to keep me going. Although you feel lousy that you cannot directly help me in my studies/ JCRC work etc, the chores you help me with, is far more than what is required and everyday you are just shooting past my expectations:)

To the only boy who would (secretly wish that I get injured so he can..) piggyback me from the handball courts to the roadside onto the van and then from the foyer climb up and down 8 flights of stairs and a long distance to my room, to the boy whom I can let my emotions get the better of me and just breakdown and cry in your arms, to the boy who strives in all ways to make my life an enjoyable one, putting me before yourself, Thank You.

happy life I have:)

Posted in Uncategorized on November 22, 2013 by Michelle Kwek

WOAHHH, it has been almost a month since  i last posted:O hahahha actually there are many instances when i have a lot to say, especially when i’m bathing but as i sit in front of my com, i become too lazy to blog heh.

sooo.. a little belated but nonetheless, CA1 is over!! hahahah.. screwed this one up quite badly, won’t be surprised if i fail.. still begging my mum to let me stay on in hall even if i fail:/ seems like JC has really done a good job in making me used to the minimally prepared feeling.. i’m now FEARLESS!! muahahaha!! many may think it’s a good thing but i think it’s too much until it’s bad for my studies:/ hahahah the promises i had made about becoming a changed person after my CA are fading away.. what’s new:/ but COMEON time to change. hahahha

post-CA life is fun, asking people around me to study while i enjoy my shows, heeheehee:) but CA2 is coming soon:/ and badminton with yining was dam fun!! hahaha but that stupid boss kept laughing at me -.- and the same week, Jen taught me how to make casserole!! can’t really remember now but I will try that some day!! and that same day was one of the best days so far this sem.. being spastic with boss, watching show for 2 mins in her room then heading off to zumba and suppers and bridge later on:) the feeling was AWESOMEEEEE!! heeheehee:)

and yay, really happy that I am seeing huiming around g5 more often!! hahaah i just love that girl’s presence!! teehee, even if it is just me walking past her room, seeing her study with her back facing the door, the occassional BOO!s and randomly rolling and lying on her bed:) it is so comfortable to be with her and talk whatever rubbish that is in my mind:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my love!! ahahhahahahah, song dedication for you!! maybe one day I’ll sing it out:)

周華健-朋友

这些年一个人
风也过雨也走
有过泪有过错
还记得坚持甚麽

真爱过才会懂
会寂寞会回首
终有梦终有你在心中

朋友一生一起走
那些日子不再有
一句话一辈子
一生情一杯酒
朋友不曾孤单过
一声朋友你会懂
还有伤还有痛
还要走还有我

 

everything has been good and i have been happy, surrounded by my family and loved ones:) hahahah eating blackball twice this week is really a happy event:) ahahha always feel so contented chewing the sweet potato balls, and the chewy pearls and slurping the grass jelly!! siaoliao i want to eat it now!! ahhhhhh:)

hope you are as happy as me:) if not go get yourself some blackball!!:)

HOWWWW?!:(

Posted in Uncategorized on October 27, 2013 by Michelle Kwek

I just came back to hall about an hour ago and I am already feeling so homesick. Not new I guess, have been feeling this every week when I return to hall from home. Every week my dad helps me carry my stuff to my room and no one knows how much I hate to say “byebye papa”. It’s not that I dont enjoy hall life but I wish I had more time to spend with my parents, my brother.

Last friday when I went back home, I realised my dad had many strands of white hair and it appeared to have grown out all in just one week. It struck me hard that my dad’s getting older.. soon he will hit the big 5 and I do not want that day to come. But ageing never bothers him, as he says, “it’s all in the mind”. How I wish I could be as strong as my dad.

If I could, I will create something to prevent ageing. Time is such a scary thing. I want to be home so badly.

To You, Thank You:)

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2013 by Michelle Kwek

Been thinking about all the days you were 
Right by my side 
Been thinking about how you never 
Left me behind 
And all of the things that you said to 
Help me ease my mind 
And I don’t know where I’d be 
Without you in my life 

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Now I just 
Wanna tell you how much 
I appreciate your love 

[Chorus]
So I’ll be there when you call 
Pick you up when you fall 
And if you ever get lonely 
I’ll be there in a heartbeat 

This song is for you 
For everything we’ve been through 
It’s been so long overdue 
I just wanna say 
Thank You 

[Verse 2]
Been trav’ling this road for so long 
We’re still going strong 
Cuz without you here I’d be nothing 
Nothing at all 
Even when times were bad you believed in me 
And now I’m standing tall 
And I just wanna thank you 
For sticking through it all 

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Now I just 
Wanna show you how much 
I appreciate your love 

[Chorus]

I know it’s not easy 
but you were there from the start 

I’ll take the kindness you’ve shown me 
share the love, and the strength 
(Pay it forward) Be all we can be 

Thank you by Jason Chen

forget the past, live the present, anticipate the future.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2013 by Michelle Kwek

OHMY, just saw the timetable for this whole sem:/ im in shock:O haahahah how am i going to survive M2:/ like i told my neighbours, m1 to m2 is like the p4 to p5 jump for math, from 4 problem sums to about 15 if i remember correctly. now problem sums represent topics covered and MEQs. hahahah going to dieeeee!!

anyway, happened to chance upon someone’s blog yesterday and read through al the related posts… and also started to think a bit.. yepp, the pain from the break up still stings, the pain still does linger.. Nope, it’s not that I want to get back but it’s just the regret, regret of not knowing what happened, what went wrong, how things ended up like that. not that we are on bad terms or anything but we aren’t normal friends..:/ and that hurts. 

relationships are so scary. from strangers, to friends, to partners and then BAM, you become 2 people leading separate lives and some may even hate the sight of each other. why must some relationships end up all sour, unable to talk to someone whom you could once share everything with. 

relationships are so fragile. they require careful management.

and that is also why relationships are so precious. 

the person who is able to make you forget the past and bring smiles to your face could be the very same person to plunge you into a world of darkness, causing you more hurt than the previous one.

BUT do not let the past affect the present or the future. Do not hold back just because you fear history repeating itself. Trust. 

So much to be glad for, so much to be thankful for.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 3, 2013 by Michelle Kwek

As holidays come to an end, maybe just one post to summarise everything before I emo about the start of sem:(

in one line, this was how i spent my holiday: in hall taking care of the injured boy, pre-trip prep, OCIP Laos, KEWOC KEWOC, KEWOC retreat, medicamp war-games, KEWOC KEWOC KEWOC, councillors’ camp, actual KEWOC.

What’s up next: KEWOC AAR, flag, rag (support), JCRC retreat and TADAH, 12 aug.. school starts:/

this holiday feels weird, probably because i didnt go on any overseas trip with the family:/ hmmm, this is really quite unusual but ohwells, i only have myself to blame since i was the one who couldnt take time off:/

KEWOC has taken up the bulk of my holidays. one-of-a-kind experience i would say. proposal versions 1.1, 1.2, … 2.5, 2.6, recce after recce, dry runs after dry runs and it still could be perfect. but i guess not being perfect made it fun and challenging. the actually kewoc almost immediately after KEWOC was just nonsensical i would say. just the councillors’ camp left us, okay maybe just a few of us, drained, stressed, overwhelmed. unsure what we would face us during the actual camp, the many “strangers” that we would be meeting and needing to interact with. the 2 camps gave me an average of 2.5-3 hours of sleeps for 6 days straight causing me to be emotionally vulnerable yet having to put on a strong front in the presence of others.

29th july, i felt a sense of liberation. on one hand, i felt empty and sad that there would be no more daily early meetings, seeing the kewoc-ers, talking cock, ransacking the kewoc room for our logs.. on the other hand, i was really glad that i was no longer an OHL, a programmer.. I was just one of the many uni students trying to enjoy the last bit of holidays.

but through kewoc, i’ve learnt the importance of rejecting, saying no to others though till now, i havent mastered the art of doing so heh:/ striking a balance is one of the hardest things but if done well, it could turn failure into success. also, kewoc has made “rekindled” the reason why i chose to stay in hall for one more year. all the friends that i have made, that i can just cry in front of and look all unglam, can swear together with, can enter a room all emo but within 5 mins, sounds of laughter overwhelm the room. 

people i love (as friends) and would like to thank: tim, zixuan, borray, naresh, si hong, charlton, kaixiang, weiteng, avery, shuting and junjie (actually im grateful for everyone in KEWOC)

people i especially love and would like to specially thank: huiming and celine for always being there, ever so concerned:) teehee my neighbours, looking forward to a fun-filled year ahead but at the same time, im going to turn into a mugger!! MUAHAHAHAHAH

and the you there, always waiting for me, no matter how late i stay in the kewoc room till settling the logs, comforting me when i myself didnt know what was going on within me, always making me smile, and just being there, giving me the energy to carry on:) thank you thank you thank you, for being you:)